Children

 {My four awesome kids - October 2014}

 

I always knew I wanted to be a mother.  Sometimes as a teenager, I would write letters to my future daughter when I was having a rough day.  I would dream of the day when my loving husband and I would welcome our new baby into the world.  As a teenager I didn't understand how exhausted I would be with my new baby on those nights of colic, nursing, and diaper changing.  I didn't understand how aggravating a 2-year-old can be when they incessantly ask "why?" all day.  I didn't understand how difficult it would be to watch my 5-year-old walk into school on their first day, knowing they would endure lonely days on the playground and learn a full vocabulary of words that were not allowed in our home.  I didn't know how difficult it would be to get my 8-year-old to do their chores in a timely manner without screaming threats.  I had no idea my teenage daughters would master the annoying eye-roll by age 11.  I didn't understand the intense ache I would feel when I saw pain in my son's eyes after he was bullied.  Although I understood the frustrations of being a teenage girl, I didn't know how drastically the world would change with the arrival of cell phones and social media, which can shatter a girl's self-esteem from the safety of her own bedroom.  I didn't know the fear of watching my 16-year-old drive off on his first date.  Most of all, I didn't have any clue about the sleepless nights I would spend staring at my ceiling with tears streaming down my cheeks as I tried to figure out the balance between love and discipline.  As I look back over the years, the hours I spent in physical labor with my children were easy in comparison to the emotional trauma of learning how to let go of the reins I want to grip on them.

 

But my teenage self couldn't possibly comprehend the intense feelings of joy I would get when my son looked into my eyes for the first time. When my daughter would give me bear hugs and tell me she loves me "this much!"  When I watched my child accomplish a task on their own after some effort.  When my daughter stole the show in a dance recital, or my son would win an academic award in front of the whole school, or my child shared a spiritual experience they had where they truly felt God working in their life.  All the heartache, frustration and fear quickly dissipates during those moments of pure joy.

 

The world seems to be shifting in their belief that parenthood is a desirable and admirable role to fill. In "The Family: A Proclamation to the World on the Family," LDS church leaders declared, "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live."

 

Why would anyone purposely take on all that responsibility?

 

Good question.  Some people wonder why anyone would complicate their already busy life by adding a child.

 

Let's very briefly review what Mormons believe about where we all came from and where we were all going after this life.  Take a look at this simple diagram:

My life did not begin the moment my Mother gave birth to me on February 11, 1977.  It didn't even begin on the day I was conceived sometime in the spring of 1976.  I used to live with my Heavenly Father (God) and Heavenly Mother.  And guess what?  You were there, too!  We were ALL there, and we loved being together.  We enjoyed learning new concepts, just like we do here.  There came a point where we wanted to progress to become like our heavenly parents, but we didn't have physical bodies like they do.  We made the choice to have a world created where we could come to receive a physical body and be tested.  More than anything, we hoped we would make it back to live with our heavenly parents again so we could keep progressing and learning.  That's where we are today.  We are all born and we will all die.  I won't explain the three degrees of kingdoms in this post, but I am so grateful for my knowledge that life continues after we die.  We can be with our families forever.  

 

This brief explanation shows the importance each of us play in our Heavenly Father's plan.  He loves us so unconditionally and completely that he is willing to allow his children to come to Earth and go through really hard trials in order to learn heavenly attributes like humility and patience.  Every difficult trial we endure forces us to do one of two things:  become bitter or become better.  Everyone on Earth is our literal brother or sister of heavenly parents and we each wanted the opportunity to come here.  We have brothers and sisters who have not yet had that chance, and the desperately don't want to be left behind!

 

  Bearing and raising children helps us develop our capacity to become like God.

 

I'm a work in progress (a very slooooow work in progress at times), but I'm learning and changing as I mature.  My rough edges are being sanded down as I begin to rely less on my own strength and learn to rely more on my Father in Heaven.  Nothing, absolutely nothing I've done in my {almost} 40 years of life has taught me more than being a Mom to some of the most choice sons and daughters of our heavenly parents.  I tell you, I'm a big screw-up at times, but I must have done something right in the pre-mortal life in order for God to trust me with these amazing little humans.

 

A Christian mother named Rachel Jankovic wrote a blog post titled, "Motherhood is a Calling (and Where Your Children Rank) for desiringgod.org on July 14, 2011.  I quote her words: "[Growing] up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood . . . Children rank way below college.  Below world travel for sure.  Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure.  Below honing your body at the gym.  Below any job you may have or hope to get . . . Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling.  You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps.  It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in.  It is what God gave you time for."

 

I will end with these words from one of our beloved apostles, Neil L. Anderson:

"It is a crowning privilege of a husband and wife who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for these spirit children of God. We believe in families, and we believe in children."