Healthy sexuality in marriage

To find out the basic beliefs of the Mormon (LDS) church, you will want to review their 13 "Articles of Faith," which can be found HERE.  These are the basic tenants of their faith.  You will notice that the last Article of Faith mentions being chaste.

What does it mean to be chaste?  In the LDS faith, chastity means not having any sexual relations before marriage. It also means complete fidelity to husband or wife during marriage in thought, word and action.  What are examples of being chaste in a marriage covenant?  Anything that leads to lustful thoughts, words, or actions are in violation of God's command to be morally clean.  First let's define the difference between lust and love:

Lust means to have an inappropriately strong desire for something.
Love means a deep devotion and affection.

See the difference?  This does not mean that sexual feelings are a sin; those feelings are a gift from God that enable a lawfully married man and woman to enjoy a fulfilling level of intimacy that bonds them physically, emotionally and spiritually.

A husband and wife should be completely faithful to each other. They should not think, say, or do anything inappropriate with another person. Flirting with another man/woman, in any way, is not harmless but violates the law of chastity.  Jesus Christ taught:

"Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart," (Matt 5:28).

 Faithfulness in marriage is necessary in developing and maintaining trust and respect.  Any form of adultery or fornication is considered a sexual sin and will require sincere repentance.

What is "normal sexuality" within marriage?

No.  This is a lie that Satan uses to tear apart a husband and wife to try and destroy their marriage. Sexual relations within marriage are not only for the purpose of procreation, but also a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual ties between husband and wife.  Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the quorum of the Twelve Apostles said:

"The power to create mortal life is the most exalted power God has given his children....

"The expression of our procreative powers is pleasing to God, but he has commanded that this be confined within the relationship of marriage. President Spencer W. Kimball taught that 'in the context of lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join in a process of creation and in an expression of love' (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [1982], 311).

"Outside the bonds of marriage, all uses of the procreative power are to one degree or another a sinful degrading and perversion of the most divine attribute of men and women" ("The Great Plan of Happiness," Ensign, Nov. 1993, 74).

Can Mormons use birth control to prevent pregnancies?

 

Yes, but contraception is not to be used selfishly.  There is an expectation that if you have the ability to bring children into the world and raise them, you should.  LDS members are encouraged to obtain an education, a stable job, and be self-sufficient.  At the same time, members are discouraged from waiting until the 'perfect time' to have children because there is no 'perfect time.'  Children will always bring with them a great level of sacrifice.

LDS.org states: "  Decisions about birth control and the consequences of those decisions rest solely with each married couple. Elective abortion as a method of birth control, however, is contrary to the commandments of God."

Why do Mormons have so many kids?

Some Mormon families may have 10 children while other families have no children.  Were these families instructed by their leaders on how many children to have? Absolutely not, because the church does not dictate a schedule quota, or interfere in any way with a husband and wife's decisions on child-bearing.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks has stated: "How many children should a couple have?  All they can care for!  Of course, to care for children means more than simply giving them life.  Children must be loved, taught, fed, clothed, housed, and well started in their capactities to be good parents themselves."

Gordon B. Hinckley, the 15th president of the LDS church, once said, "The Lord has told us to multiply and replenish the earth that we might have joy in our posterity.  But he did not designate the number, nor has the Church.  That is a sacred matter left to the couple and the Lord."