Monday, March 14, 2016

Adoption

I remember sitting on Ciara's couch many times while she fed me delicious food.  My beautiful friend had wanted to be a mother ever since she was married many years earlier.  Due to some medical issues in her teenage years, she was aware that pregnancy may not be possible for her, but that didn't stop her from seeing multiple doctors and trying every procedure possible.  We had several discussions during this time where she would break down emotionally and describe the process of mourning the biological children she hoped to have.  Over the years, she and her husband both came to the conclusion that adoption was a good solution for their situation because they desperately wanted to become parents.

In the summer of 2012, they finally welcomed a little boy into their family.  17 months later they welcomed a second baby boy into their arms.


Without the gift of adoption, my sweet friend would have never known the joy that is found in motherhood.  She grew up in a large family and always wanted a loud house full of children. Through the incredibly selfless act of two separate girls, their dreams came true.  

Do Mormons believe in adoption?

Referring to single women who find themselves carrying a child, Gordon B. Hinckley, stated: "If there is no prospect of marriage to the man involved, leaving the mother alone, there remains the very welcome option of placing the child for adoption by parents who will love it and care for it. There are many such couples in good homes who long for a child and cannot have one."

The Mormon church unequivocally supports adoption.  

Does the Mormon church pressure single, pregnant girls into giving their baby up for adoption?  Does the Mormon church think single women aren't capable of raising a child alone?

This is the official position of the LDS church:

“Unwed parents who do not marry should not be counseled to keep the infant as a condition of repentance or out of an obligation to care for one’s own.”

President Kimball spoke often about the serious consequences of the sin of immorality: “If pregnancy results from the sin, … it is the girl who suffers most ... She carries most of the burdens, while the boy often seems to go penalty-free. The girl must go through the uncomfortable nine months with its distress, deprivations, limitations and embarrassments, and then the pain and expense of delivery and the difficult life afterward. It is a cowardly boy who would not propose marriage, pay the costs, share the deprivations and embarrassment. Yet many young men have walked away and abandoned the girl to all the devastating payments for the sin of them both."

The financial and educational statistics for unwed mothers are staggering.  I won't mention them here, but the internet is full of resources that prove families are more successful when both a mother and a father are present.

LDS Family Services, a counseling service that has clinics all over the world, says the following on their website: "Choosing to marry, single parent, or place your child with adoptive parents may be one of the more important decisions you will make in your life and the life of your child.  When making important decisions like these, gather as much information as you can, ponder its significance, and prayerfully take it to the Lord."

THIS website has some valuable resources for girls who are needing guidance in their unplanned pregnancy, including these words: "Remember that whatever you decide for you and your child, some people will agree with your decisions and others will not. Every individual’s situation is different, so the answer for one person may not work for another. One thing you can be sure of is that no one will have given as much time, effort, and thought to the unique circumstances of your situation as you and the Lord. Trust in the divine counsel you receive from Heavenly Father as you make your decision.  Studying a decision out in your mind includes researching the information available for each of the challenges you face. Consider the following questions:
  • What direction are your parents, bishop, and other trusted individuals giving you?
  • What are the rewards and challenges for both you and your child associated with each decision?
  • If I were to place the needs of the child above the needs of everyone else (including my own), how might this influence my decision?

These are just a few of the questions you may want to explore prior to taking your decision to the Lord for His counsel. Remember, He cannot assist you in making your decisions unless you invite Him to be part of them."

Can a girl who had sex or got pregnant out of wedlock be forgiven?

YES!  God will never abandon His children!  He loves his pregnant daughter and her unborn child more than we could ever comprehend.  Anyone who commits a moral sin can work through the repentance process in order to restore peace to their life.  Regardless of the decision a pregnant girl makes about the baby she is carrying, she will need support and love from her family and close friends.  This video is a perfect example of the grace we can receive through Jesus Christ:


“The mission of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is to call people everywhere to repentance. Those who heed the call, whether members or nonmembers of the Church, can be partakers of the miracle of forgiveness. God will wipe away from their eyes the tears of anguish, and remorse, and consternation, and fear, and guilt. Dry eyes will replace the wet ones, and smiles of satisfaction will replace the worried, anxious look.” (Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969), pp. 367–78.)

Forgiveness IS possible.  Adoption is a wonderful option that can bring about miracles.

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